Tuesday, December 8, 2015

I Have No Idea What I Am Doing!

I haven't updated my blog in a very long time. I had a very busy summer. I went on a road trip from Kansas City to Orlando, FL with our youth group. I rode from Kansas City to Sturgis, SD with my husband this summer on the Harley. I had a lot of fun and thoroughly enjoyed my summer vacation. I actually complete a Couch to 5K with one of my best friends this summer. 

Then I went back to work. We moved from our tiny little 500 square foot apartment to a 4 bedroom house! We bought a car. We aren't finished unpacking yet. And I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I feel like a failure almost every day. I have an awesome family! I have a big, beautiful house! I have a nice, new car! I just don't know what I am doing. I have so many things I want to do and I don't know how to accomplish any of them. Plus I have way too many irons in the fire. 

All the stuff that I have going on:

  1. I work full time (except summers) as a special ed paraprofessional.
  2. I have a Thirty-One Gifts business.
  3. I am a Beachbody Coach.
  4. I have the tiniest of tiny Etsy shops.
  5. I want to learn handlettering.
  6. I want to learn brushlettering. 
  7. I want to get healthy and into shape. 
So, let's take each one and tear it apart, why don't we? 

1. I love my job! I love my coworkers and my kids. There are 3 problems though: I don't make enough money, I am not using my degree (I have an MBA in Marketing and HR) and they took away our level pay, so I am going to have to get a job this summer to be able to pay our bills. 

2. I would love to make my 31 business work, but I feel like I am going in a million directions, and I am trying to figure out how to get people to actually have parties. I am going to start doing wine-tasting parties after the new year, so we will see what happens with that!

3. Again, I feel overwhelmed with this. I don't know how to succeed at this. So, I have decided to just get back to working on ME and then maybe others will see me succeed and will want my help with their health and fitness. I feel like I have to get my body under control before I can really help others. 

4. I have been working on some new ideas for my Etsy shop, including stickers and vinyl products, but my Cricut is being a total pain in the ass so I have to figure that out before I can really commit to selling things that I make with it. I mean, if I get some orders and then the software screws up, I won't be able to fulfill those orders and that would be really bad. 

5. I am working on this. I am in the middle of Sean McCabe's Learn Lettering Starter Class. I hope to be able to make some money and purchase his Master Course, because that is where all of the business stuff is!

6. I am also working on this. Tomorrow is my birthday, and my husband got me a brush lettering course I really wanted so I am super excited to get started on that!!

7. UGH. I feel like I know what I need to do to get into shape, but I am refusing to let myself do it. I eat too much and all the wrong foods. I am not keeping up with water or working out. I am exhausted all the time, and I am hungry all the time. I just want to come home and eat and veg, when I really need to workout every day. I don't know what I am doing. I am sabotaging myself! I need to figure it out. 

I need to decide what success looks like to me. I need to decide what I want my life to look like. I can envision myself doing lettering as a career, staying home in my cute little office creating things every day. Making a living with art. But also having a thriving Beachbody business, with a fit body and a huge following so I can help a ton of people get fit and healthy! 

What do I need to do to get there? Lots of practice, working out, eating right, starting a YouTube channel, Periscope, Instagram, blog, etc. etc. etc. I need to get myself out there, outside of my comfort zone. 

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 42. It's time to get serious.  


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