Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Holy shit, is this Monday!?

It FEELS like Monday. All I have to do is open my mouth... or my keyboard... to piss people off today. But you know what? I just don't care anymore. I have spent 40 years biting my tongue and trying to please others. When do *I* get to be happy? I am tired of just taking a backseat to everyone else and their wants and their needs. I feel like I am dead last right now. My feelings don't matter. And when I express my feelings I just piss people off, which makes me want to crawl back in myself and just not speak. 

Since my husband left me a year and a half ago (and then came back) I have just been so very depressed and angry and I don't know how to deal with all the feelings I have. I would think after a year an a half I would be over his affair. When does the pain stop? When does everything in the world not make me think of them together? When do I stop being angry and just let my heart open fully again? I'm incredibly broken and scared and untrusting and just plain MAD. I feel like my life was ruined and I can't get back on track. 

I know I can forgive him, but how do I FORGET!? 


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