Friday, March 7, 2014

Friday!!!! And an identity crisis...


Y'all know how much I love Friday!! Well, Friday at 5:00 pm... well, Friday at 5:40 pm when I finally get home from work!! Today is no different! I live for the weekends!

I try to keep a positive attitude most of the time, but lately I have been feeling really down. I feel like I have no purpose in life. My kids are almost all grown. (X is 13, so close enough!) I have a J.O.B., not a career. I don't feel like a make a difference in this world. I also never seem to finish anything I start. 

I am still in school for my NASM Certified Personal Trainer certification, but I didn't get to pay off the course like I had hoped I could so now I am behind. Also, I am worried that nobody is going to take me seriously as a trainer until I lose all the weight I need to lose, so I kind of put the studying on the back burner. I need to start it up again. 

I have been getting back into makeup again. I used to sell Mary Kay, and I liked it, but not enough to keep doing it. But lately, I have been watching a lot of YouTubers who have makeup channels and I love seeing all the different looks. I would love to get some formal training on applying makeup for photo shoots, since I'm a professional photographer. It would be nice to have the makeup skill as well, for my clients. However, there are times when I think about closing my photography business, because the market is so oversaturated. And watching YouTubers makes me want to have my own channel, but I don't think I would be "good enough" for people to actually watch anything I would do. 

I'm feeling kind of like a lost cause lately and I don't know how to get out of this funk I am in. I have all these ideas and things I want to do, but I lack the motivation, funds, talent, creativity, etc. I am on the search for something I can do ANYWHERE because when X graduates hubs and I will be traveling, because he will be a traveling RT, so I have to find something I can do no matter where we are. But I am also just so tired of having a job in which I am not fulfilled. I have an eclectic range of skills... just call me a Jill of all Trades, Master of None. 

Ok, with that, I am off for the weekend!! Have a great one! 

~Scout




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